Will I Ever Learn Wednesday

It is that time of week again that I get to tell the world just how ditzy I can be.

WILL I EVER LEARN…

Amazingly, this has been a very calm week for me. I guess when one doesn’t do much, the ditzometer goes down.

I spent time looking for my boots this morning only to remember they were still in my gym bag in my car. Will this snow ever go away! We only have 4 inches or so. It is nothing compared to what many of you are dealing with.

I agreed to play pool with Jim again. I lost again. We still suck!

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Here is one of my not so proud moments from my not too distant past. The memory was nudged out of the cobwebs of my mind when I read Intenseguy's “Whiter Than White” post, which was inspired by my “Will I Ever Learn” post from last week. (if you aren’t confused yet, keep reading – you will be.)

I worked in a mainframe data center with many computer guru’s, and looked admirably on them from the distance of my administrative office - and took every opportunity I could to learn from them. What a trove of knowledge! We provided computer services for all the departments of state government. One of my responsibilities was administering the billing system. Without the techies' knowledge of what applications used what software and equipment, and their programming expertise, among a vast number of other considerations, my job would have been impossible. So, I spent many hours learning what was and was not possible. Then the impossible happened. Our well oiled team was disrupted with the appearance of a new boss.

New boss came to us with a data background, so expectations were that she would hit the ground running. Unfortunately, she wasn’t smart enough to rely on the expertise already in place, and began making changes without asking questions and learning why we were doing things the way we were. It was a disaster! And I (along with almost everyone else) was an UNHAPPY camper.

Here is where ditzyness raised its ugly head. She-boss sent out an email detailing changes that spelled disaster for our billing system. I chose to forward that email to a co-worker, pointing out just how dumb she was being. At least that is what I meant to do. What I really did was hit reply (to she-boss) with my scathing message. And I hit send. And I immediately gasped! NO!

I paced. I fretted. I was able to see on my computer whether the message had been read yet – and it hadn’t. That is when I started scheming…

She’s has a meeting soon….

Her office is guarded by a secretary. Is it almost time for a smoke break? …

We are required to never leave our password protected computers unattended without logging off – is she arrogant enough to decide the rules don’t apply to her…

I paced in and out of my office. Co-workers had to be wondering what I was up to, but nobody said a word.

That is when it happened. “She” went to a meeting. Her secretary immediately saw the smoke break opportunity. The path to her office was empty. Totally empty.

My heart was beating like a hammer in my chest. I knew if I got caught, I’d be fired on the spot. I made a dash for it! Even though I’d been in her office hundreds of times, I remember thinking that she sure did have a large office! Oh yea, the reason I’m in here…

Yes, she was arrogant enough to not password protect her computer or her email. I quickly logged on, found the deadly email I had sent, and with a click of the mouse, deleted the evidence.

And nobody ever knew. Nobody. For years. Over the years, I’ve only told three people. Until now. And now the whole world knows the truth – or at least the small world that reads my blog. Shhhhh. It’s our little secret.